Friday Classes

I never thought I would miss Friday classes, but I do. Being in Waco is so lonely for me, and the time I have after 5 pm on Thursday is excruciating. I don't do well with solitude. I like alone time, but I don't do well by myself. Everything is magnified ten-fold. It's particularly bad without television to fill in the silence.

Solitude makes me sad. It always has a way of projecting those innermost thoughts into the open. As Pink said, "I don't wanna have to be the girl who fills the silence. The silence scares me cause it screams the truth." And that's so true. Because when its silent, it's loud. I can't think in the silence. The silence cripples me.

Why are chapels never open at night when I need them most? At least the silence in chapels is a Holy silence. I can think in that silence. I miss the 610 loop in Houston precisely at times like this. I could drive around filling the void with music until I had calmed down enough; Waco doesn't have a loop. I found myself driving on Hwy 6 until I made myself turn around because it was getting dark. I'm scared of existing in silence.