How to Determine if You are Going to Live in an Haunted House

Gillian and I came up with a rough list years ago after watching "A Haunting." I've started watching Paranormal State and have decided to expand the list. The following list indicates precursors to living in a Haunted House. While not exclusive, the more you have, you worse off you are probably going to be...

1) The house is old. Statistically speaking, old houses are much more likely to be haunted.
2) You are Catholic. Plus side is that you have access to exorcisms.
3) The house you live in is just outside your price range. This means that you found your dream home and it was slightly more than you can afford, thus all of your money is invested in the home and you can't leave.
4) Babies and small children. Ghosts apparently like small children.
5) Someone died in the house. Obviously this one makes sense. The worse the death the more likely its going to happen.
6) You live in a converted building. That old school house or doctors office may seem cool but who knows what went on inside of there.
7) You live on an ancient Indian burial ground. Honestly? If you knowingly move on to an ancient Indian burial ground you deserve to be haunted.
8) An old tenant practiced the occult. Chances are good that they left a doorway to Hell open. Jerks.
9) You are messy. Ghosts don't like neat freaks.
10) There is discourse in the family. Ghosts don't like happy families.
11) You live in New England. Ghosts apparently didn't believe in Manifest Destiny and stayed on the East Coast, or maybe they are just really liberal.
12) Generally poorer people are more likely to be haunted than rich people. This may be because it's hard to find ghosts in 12,000 square foot homes.
13) You have a friend that is a psychic or medium. I'm not joking, you wouldn't believe how easy it is for haunted people to get someone in to check them out.
14) There is a portal to Hell somewhere on your property. Go figure.
15) You are doing construction on the house. Ghosts don't like change.
16) You wear ascots frequently.