Prayer of Thanksgiving Obligatory Post

I hate to admit that I'm actually enjoying something related to the work of covenant group, because I honestly don't enjoy structured devotional time. There is an inherent goodness in it, because it's a form of discipleship and we should all be working on discipline and being obedient. That being said, I'm still not happy that I essentially have to do it for a grade- but I've actually enjoyed the selections for the prayer of thanksgiving this week.

There were a lot of questions that were listed for reflection this week, but I think the one that hit me the most was the question about what to do when you feel isolated (see last post). Obviously, this is something I struggle with, a lot. It hurts more when I feel isolated from other Christians. I had never really thought that perhaps it's in order to grow closer to God. That's something to ponder. In order to do that, I have to learn to break down that wall of hurt. It does hurt when I feel isolated. A barrage of questions run through my mind- what did I do wrong? should I approach them? do they really just not like me? It's a constant stream of self-doubt and worry. But maybe that's a bad mindset. Maybe I should be thankful to have that time to deal with my own relationship with myself, because its the most damaged that I can tell.

I'm not good at writing prayers. I have to admit that my prayer of thanksgiving is heavily based on the prayer from the first day by Bonhoeffer, and the prayer from the week one covenant group page:

O Lord Jesus, my friend and sustainer
I thank you for the night which becomes the day
For the grief that becomes joy
And for the doubt that becomes faith

I thank you for the ways in which you want to know me, and the way in which you do know me
Please work me as You work the clay of the earth
Even when I do not understand and cannot move myself, guide my mind and body
Fight for me when I do not want to fight for myself

Thank you for the seasons of life
For the rain and the sun, for the wind and the calm
I lift up the blessings I have been given to Your name
I praise you for the curses that have been dealt me and the manner in which I grow through them

You remember my strengths and my weaknesses
You remember my hopes and my fears
And I thank you for remembering that I am yours